Once upon a spacetime.

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Captain Jerry

Project of the Month Winner!!!
Project of the Month Winner
Dec 2, 2008
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I'm not going to tell the whole story here. I'm sure you have already heard it. It is told in almost every culture in the world through out history. This not about the creation myth that is also universal but is about a later development. I'll just cut to the chapter that is later in the story and where all of these story lines ultimately cross.

I'll call this chapter "AHA"

Stripped of all the preliminary build up, it comes down to this. For some time now, a group of elders have been gathering around the mouth of the cave. There is no one clear leader and there is a great deal of distrust among them. Some of them are well dressed and immaculate in their dress and others seem to relish in their dishevelment. But there is one thing that they share. Their headdress or hairstyle is unlike anything seen in the general population.

They are not secretive. They talk openly and passionately about something that is very important to everyone. They use ordinary words but they seem to use them in an unusual way. Verbs and nouns fall in odd places and some other words that do not really mean anything but which have a cute sound creep in to the discourse.

Finally one of them steps forward and the others become silent. The spokesperson thanks everyone for the for the immense
treasure that they have been intrusted with and the confidence that has been shown them and their superior intellect. And then the big announcement. The gods have accepted their huge sacrifice and have rewarded them with special insight. This insight cannot be directly shared with the masses who cannot be expected to understand. There is a long moment of silence and then the spokesperson boldly announces that much more treasure will be required to look deeper into the cave. The assembled masses glumly accept the inevitable and dig into their pockets.

Now comes the AHA! Two very intelligent young men, looking on with skepticism, look blankly at each other. Finally one of them says to the other, "What in the hell did that guy just say?"

"Who cares," the other one says. "He sold it. That's where the action is. Mess up your hair and follow me" he says as he heads for the mouth of the cave.

The first young man looks puzzled, and then spreads a huge grin as he smacks himself in the forehead. "AHA!" he says, and heads for the mouth of the cave.
This was intended as a parody on particle physics, not partisan politics. If it comes across as political, please delete it.

Captain Jerry said:
This was intended as a parody on particle physics, not partisan politics. If it comes across as political, please delete it.

This is a nice read. please keep it.

I thought it was about physics... (and kinda funny too!).

I have always thought that most of particle physics is an inside joke. Those guys in the cave are laughing their asses off.

Captain Jerry said:
This was intended as a parody on particle physics, not partisan politics. If it comes across as political, please delete it.


The first thing that came to my mind was the LHC and search for the Higgs boson. And of course, SETI and dark matter and dark energy and string theory and quantum physics and ...
All of which create more questions than answers.

I thought it was about Scientology.
I thought it was about cavemen suckering other cavemen into doing the hunting for them. Now that is a quantum application of physics and physiques.

Best Regards
I pretty much got it from the get go - the LHC and the 5 Sigma (pretty convincing) determination of the Higgs Bosun.

I enjoyed the parody.

I think it was Mark Twain who coined the phrase "There is no there, there !"

The problem with particle physics is you can't "see" anything (way smaller than wavelength of light), coupled with the uncertainty principal (bouncing photons [or whatever] off things the same size or smaller, to "look" at them, is going to produce squirrely results)means that you are forced into interpretation of data.

Lets see what happens when they go back into the cave and ramp up its power a bit more - I believe they are only running at 40% since they last broke it at 80% - thus turning it into the "Large Hadron Collander".

Brian Rupnow said:
I thought Jerry had lost it!!!

And then you remembered... this is Jerry we're talking about...

- Ryan
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