Most useless tool

[Bogstandard]

I had a member PM me today, and it reminded me of one of the most useless tools in my workshop. Luckily I didn't buy it, but had it donated by a so called friend. Now I know why he gave it away.
It is an optical centre finder, made by an American company, and as useful as a bowler hat with sleeves.

I have blanked out the name to protect the innocent.
If used in a cleanroom environment it would perform admirably, but in a normal workshop, a dead loss.

This is designed for use with ferrous metal parts and the D shaped piece is in fact a fairly strong magnet.
Can you tell me anywhere in a working workshop where there isn't any minute bits of ferrous swarf (there are bits sticking to it as I set up this shot).
When you come to use it and put it down on the job it attracts bits from everywhere, and stops you putting the graticule down the hole in the magnet, clean it out and the same thing happens again. Swarf appears out of nowhere as if by magic.
Maybe this will make a nice christmas gift for one of those 'has it all' model engineers.

Maybe you have one that is worse than this, if so show it to us, and give us a laugh on how to waste money on totally useless items.



John the human magnet.

 

[macona]

I have that exact model center in my toolbox. Didnt pay much and have used it from time to time.

I dont know, its kind of useful. Usually when you are laying out it is on clean steel so I hannt had an issue with chips.

But is has set inside my tool box now that I just use CNC to drill whereever I want holes. With cheap cnc and cheap DROs a lot of layout tools are becoming obsolete.

 

[mklotz]

"useful as a bowler hat with sleeves" - I love it.

Has anyone ever successfully used an "Easy-Out" (American trade name) to remove a seized bolt? All the Easy-Outs I've seen used in anger were broken off in the drilled out bolt.

What about those tap extractors with the sliding fingers that are supposed to slip into the flutes of a broken tap? I have a couple with only slightly bent fingers if anyone wants them.

Items like Swiss Army knives and Leatherman tools are meant to provide one with a selection of useful tools in a small, compact package one can carry on one's person. So why do they provide some of the blades they do? When was the last time you were away from the shop and desperately needed a fish scaler, a cuticle pusher, or a specialized fruit peeler? I have one pocket knife with a seam ripper. I've not yet encountered any camping situation where I needed to urgently open a seam to escape from the tent or my clothes.

Some day some clever soul is going to market a pocketknife 'body' for which one can buy the blades one really needs, fit them in place, and have something truly useful.

As long as I'm ranting about useful stuff that isn't there... Why don't most hobby lathes and mills have spindle locks? Dremel tools have spindle locks so you can tighten/loosen the screw-on chuck but neither my lathe or mill/drill has one.

 

[Bogstandard]

Macona,
Expect a package in the post in time for christmas.

Marv,
Agree with you on all points, do you want the ones I've got so you can start a collection.

John

 

[macona]

The spiral "screw extractors" are a joke. All they do is drive in and jam the broken screw even worse.

Straight shank one work OK.

 

[lugnut]

I picked up one John's optical center punches in a box of stuff from Ebay and thought it pretty good except the lens is broken and hard to look through. I didn't know they was useless, but then there are a lot of things I don't know :roll:
The most useless tool in my kit is the triangle shaped, electric, detail sander. Even sadder is that I have two of them :shock: One I bought and one was a gift..
Mel

 

[mklotz]

Think pedicure.

 

[Bogstandard]

Mel,
I am not saying it was totally useless (well really I am), if you work in an environment that is clean, in a normal workshop where there is swarf about (most normal w/shops) it became very difficult to use.

Here is another one I found, covered in dust at the back of the shelf. I will own up to purchasing this piece of useless junk. Looked good at the time.

The ones now have straight sides so can be held in your collet or drill chuck with no problem. This one however required everything to be stripped out, mounted in the morse taper, edge found, then strip down again to put your chuck back. Used once and forgotten about.

John

 

[macona]

Lugnut, you mean the ryobi detail sander, right???

I bought one when I was rebuilding my lathe this summer to get in to the corners to get the filler down. What a joke!

The ones by dremel and porter cable look much better.

Funny thing is there is a guy at work that used to work at home depot. He couldnt believe they still sold those things as they got back almost every one they sold.

 

[Mcgyver]

John, I thought you were disparaging optical centre punches until i read magnetic base! haha, useless as teats on a bull. you should not block the name out, but highlight so the next guy doesn't buy one. i wonder if it can be demagnetized?

ok, what are mine; how about those stupid third hands that use crappy aligator clips, the ultimate piece of junk, the soldering equivelant of the cone of silence! maybe worse is the solid, fully adjustable rest sytem i made for the bench grinder. what a waste of time. Ugh.

 

[greenie]

Has anyone ever successfully used an "Easy-Out" (American trade name) to remove a seized bolt? All the Easy-Outs I've seen used in anger were broken off in the drilled out bolt.

Yep, quite often too, haven't busted one in years. Now that's said, next time I got to use one, it'll break for sure.

Next time try this with one of them, drill an appropriate sized hole and insert the 'said' animal, now before you give it a twist and shatter the bloody thing. Get out the "nulla-nulla" and give the top of it a bloody good clout, by doing this you're driving the bit well into the busted piece, so it has a real good grip, as well as your upsetting the threads and releasing them from binding. Now out with the jewelers spanner, apply some pressure to the animal and give the top another good clout whilst the pressure is on it.
Voila, the obstinate ars*#@!$ should be on the way out now, if it still wont move, give it a bigger clout with a bigger "nulla-nulla".

 

[compound driver]

HI
Have to admit to using an optical punch in the shop but mostly on non ferouse. With mild steel its better to let the center punch drop into the scrive lines. But on say brass the punch can make its own lines if some care isnt taken. So sorry to say I like the optical punch.

The tool I hate the most would have to be plastic file handles! I will not look at a file if the handle is molded on and made from plastic. Wood is in my books the only material to use on file handles.

OOh maybe add to the list those terrible pistol grip conduit saws that most people call hacksaws. Oh im on a rant sorry.

Any way back to work.

Cheers kevin

 

[jgarrett]

I vote for the "Bob Villa" useless, knuckle busting worthless self adjusting slipjoint pliers..My kids always give me that "only on TV" stuff and I have never found any of it that is worth the tool box space it takes up..
Now,,,I'm done ranting!!!
Julian G.

 

[Bogstandard]

Kevin,
Thats the way I do it, drag the point along one line and you can 'feel' it hit the intersection. Taught to do it that way over 40 years ago by my instructor, and it sort of stuck.
Nothing against optical centre punches, as long as they are not magnetic.

Files with handles on, whatever next. I suppose your one of those wimpy engineers that hasn't got a scar up their inner wrist from a slipped file tang (just joking of course), the way I see them , cheap plastic handle, cheap file. I have them over 20 years old and cut just as good now as ever they did, always go for quality and the RIGHT sized wooden handle.

John

 

[wareagle]

Worthless tools..... Hmmm.......

I think that the most worthless tool that I had is one of those "one fits all" sockets that someone gave me for Christmas on year. Actually, it did fit the two nuts I put it on, and promptly became a mangled pile of _____ after a slight bit of torque was applied. What a POS! What's worst is I tried it!

A close second to the socket was one of those really cheap Chicom angle grinders that I have to admit I bought ($5) because it was a good deal. Plugged it in, pulled the trigger, and it turned maybe twenty revolutions before it ate itself. :shock:

Another tool on the list is an electronic edge finder that was given to me. It finds the edge just as it is advertised, the only thing is it's runout is about .010", so once you find the edge with it, you still don't know where the edge is!

 

[Bogstandard]

Wareagle,
Give me a bit of a chuckle that one.
I think you and me aren't supposed to have the latest gadgets, we just end up with a load of crap.
Or we are just suckers.

John

 

[Hilmar]

John,
what about the optical centers you put in the Mill to see the line or center or Hole.
Hilmar

 

[shred]

I suppose if you heated the magnet to over the curie temperature it would then cease to be magnetic. Cherry red ought to do it

I've got some sort of magic center-of-round stock finder gizmo that turns out to be about useless..

 

[Lew Hartswick]

Here is another one I found, covered in dust at the back of the shelf. I will own up to purchasing this piece of useless junk. Looked good at the time.

The ones now have straight sides so can be held in your collet or drill chuck with no problem. This one however required everything to be stripped out, mounted in the morse taper, edge found, then strip down again to put your chuck back. Used once and forgotten about.

John

Couldn't you turn the back end to a straight part to use in a collet?
...lew...

 

[wareagle]

Wareagle,
Give me a bit of a chuckle that one.
I think you and me aren't supposed to have the latest gadgets, we just end up with a load of crap.
Or we are just suckers.

John

LOL!! Bog, you are right! Sometimes I think I am just snake bit when it comes to gizmos and gadgets. Rarely do I find something that works, but I do find enough stuff that does that it keeps me trying. :roll:

The part about being a sucker.... Probably not too far off, either :lol: