I charged my laps by chucking them in a drill press, gobbing the clover onto a hardened steel flat, and pressing that hard into the lap barrel while its spinning slowly. I know in theory this alone should cut, but I cheat and add a bit of loose compound into the lap grooves, and thin it all with kerosene or WD-40.
I think the trick is in how the lap is expanded. I turn the drill press on dead slow with the cylinder on the lap, then try to stop the cylinder by hand while "pumping" it vertically. If it feels too loose, I'll expand the lap, and do so until there's significant drag. About 30 seconds or so later, the drag slowly vanishes as the cut takes place. Stop the press, remove the cylinder, add a bit more compound, reverse the cylinder back onto the lap, and expand it a bit more. The bored finish is slowly replaced by the frosted lap finish.
If you've got a number of cylinders to do, one of those expensive 3-point bore mikes is an awesomely useful tool to beg, borrow, or steal.