Pep Talk

[DickDastardly40]

The Squadron Commanders Pep-talk

OK Fellas, Unfortunately it’s a big Sh!t sandwich and everybody’s got to take a bite, it’s time for all hands to turn to, to w@nk the elephant.

I think we need to hit the ground running, keep our eye on the ball,
And make sure that we are singing off the same song-sheet. At the end of the day it is not a level playing field and the goalposts may move; if they do, someone may have to pick it up and run with it. We therefore must have a golf bag of options hot-to-trot from the word "go".

It is your train set but we cannot afford to leave it on the back-burner; we've got a lot of irons in the fire right now. We will need to un-stick a few potential poo traps but it all depends on the flash-to bang time and fudge factor allowed.

Things may end up slipping to the left and, if they do, we will need to run a tight ship. I don't want to reinvent the wheel but we must get right into the weeds on this one.

If push comes to shove, we may have to up-stumps and then we'll be in a whole new ball game. I suggest we test the water with a few warmers in the bank. If we can produce the goods then we are cooking with gas. If not, then we are in a world of hurt.

I don't want to die in a ditch over it but we could easily end up in a flat spin if people start getting twitchy. To that end, I want to get around the bazaars and make sure the movers and shakers are on-side from day one.

If you can hit me with your shopping list I can take it to the head honchos and start the ball rolling. I know you're not the sharpest tool in the box and may be a few sandwiches short of a picnic, but together we'll be the best thing since sliced bread.

There is light at the end of the tunnel and I think we have backed a winner here. If it gets blown out of the water, however, I will be throwing a track. So get your feet into my in-tray and give me chapter and verse as to how you see things panning out. As long as our ducks are in a row I think the ball will stay in play and we can come up smelling of roses.

Before you bomb-burst and throw smoke it is imperative we nail our
colours to the mast and look at the big picture. We've got to march to the beat of the drum. We are on a sticky wicket, we'll need to play with a straight bat and watch out for fast balls.

I've been on permanent send for long enough and I've had my ten pence worth. I don't want to rock the boat or teach anyone to suck eggs. We must keep this firmly in our sight picture and not under our hats or it will fall between the cracks. If the cap fits, wear it, but it may seem like pushing fog uphill with a sharp stick.

Did you all get that?

 

[ronm]

Sounds like if we all get on the same page & interface proactively we can efficate a win-win situation...

 

[Bogstandard]

Al,
I think you just might confuse our Colonials (should that be with a lower case 'c') with some of that banter in there.
Even though they do speak English of a sort, it is not the Queens English.
Up stumps, flat spin, straight bat, wicket and fast balls will be understood by our 'Empire' friends, but maybe only a few of our Colonials. :lol:
Their bats are a different shape, and they only play with them wimpish soft balls, plus they keep missing the ball, also we don't chew that 'orrible black muck. :twisted:


I am now going to stand well back, and wait for the fireworks.

John
With a big wooden spoon.

 

[mklotz]

Hey, us hairy colonials know all there is to know about cricket - it's baseball on Valium.

Now, for the few American savages who know nothing of this evil invention of the clever Brits, here's a brief explanation of the game...


You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side thats been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.

When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay all out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game!


And here's the anecdote that perfectly sums up my opinion of the game...



The cricket fan had dragged his wife and child along to the ground to watch the local side .

He watched with interest, but they were plainly bored and shifted uncomfortably in their seats.

The child brightened and turned to the mother.

'They just shouted 'Over', she said.

'I know.' replied her mother, wearily, 'but don't take any notice. It goes on and on and on.'

 

[Bogstandard]

You just love spoiling my fun don't you Marv.
Now they'll all want to play since you have explained the rules.

Disgruntled John

 

[mklotz]

You started it! Wot, with all the babble about us colonials not speaking English and not understanding your game.

I have to agree with you on the English. The average American can neither speak or write his language with anything approaching facility. It makes me weep to read some of the stuff on the web. What's worse, with the ever increasing anti-intellectual attitude, many of them prize their horrid scribblings as a mark of the fact that they're just one of the "good ole boys" and not a (shudder) pretender to having any education.

What did Churchill have to say about cricket? One of his most treasured quotes for me is his explanation of golf - another weird game from you lot.

"Golf is a game which consists of chasing a small white ball around a large green field with a set of tools admirably unsuited to the job."

 

[Cedge]

Marv
I have to agree with your lamentation of the current education system product. I wacthed it begin in the 80's when kids interviewing for a job could neither read nor write at the required levels. It steadily declined until today one wonders if functional literacy is even a goal anymore.

I read a few years ago that the US was going to hit a crisis where blue collar workers would become scarce and some system was needed to channel adequate supplies into the work force. The writer mentioned the temporary need fro immigrant workers to fill the empty slots until the domestic pipeline was adequate. This was treatise by some harmless neophyte... but an upper level functionary in the U.S. Education department. I wish I'd kept a copy but it was in print ..... pre-puter days.

Only a few more years and we won't need immigrants for menial work anymore. My social security will be covered and these kids will be too dim witted to realize that my golden years of free nationalized medical care will be coming right off the sweat on their backs. I just pray that I can help my own grandkids avoid becoming mill fodder.

Steve
Who thanks god often for the tiny little woman with an iron will who force fed me the basics of Yank english syntax and grammar, until I learned to like it.

 

[Bogstandard]

one can only hope that this will not turn into an epademic!

Too late, the civilised world has already reached the state of chronic plague in illiteracy. The governments are sending these kids to a higher education with much lower standards than in the past, churning out semi literate degree holders, and the piece of paper that they come away with is useful for only one thing, all it needs are the perforations.
The third world is now becoming the knowledge of the world, they soak it up like a sponge and are using it to overtake us in all areas.

John

 

[mklotz]

The situation is unfixable because we're already into the second, possibly third, generation of people who are the product of what is laughingly referred to as "outcome based education". (For those of you who aren't familiar with educational newspeak, that means that the student feels good about himself, even if he hasn't learned a damn thing.)

No matter how much money is thrown at the problem, the kids can't learn because the teachers don't know and they've been taught to think that emotions are more important than knowledge. When my daughter was in grade school she had an English teacher who would send notes home with the children. These were rambling diatribes she'd written herself in an attempt to explain the "dynamics" of education and the benefits of "emotional learning".
They sounded like a Robin Williams parody of Carl Jung.

We met with the school administrator (another empty-headed product of some schlock teachers college) and explained to her that we wanted our daughter transferred to another class where she might have a chance of learning something. "Whatever for? Ms. Jones is one of our best English teachers."

I reached into my briefcase and pulled out a folder of the weird notes. Handing them over, I said, "Here's why. I've taken the trouble to correct and grade her writings. So far this semester she has a D+ average." My daughter was transferred the next day.

What exactly do they teach in schools today?

The kids I encounter are illiterate, grossly innumerate, can't find the USA on a map of the world, and aren't sure whether WWI came before or after WWII. They think the Civil War was an aftermath of Vietnam and that Switzerland is a Scandinavian country where the national language is Swedish. Art and history are total unknowns to them.

So, besides football plays and how to dial a cell phone, what do they teach?

 

[sidecar_jon]

one can only hope that this will not turn into an epademic!

churning out semi literate degree holders,

John

Eagerly puts hand up, then realises this isn't a good thing......slinks away


(well i went before it all went to hell.... )