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Omnimill

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1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

11.. Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.

Vic.
 
You can't outsmart Murphy...

Washing your car during a drought will not cause it to rain.
 
Some more Murphy

Mother Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.

O'Toole's corrolary - Mother Nature is a B..ch.

The law of geometric tollerancing.
Limits and fits will add up unidirectionally towards maximum difficulty of assembly.

Some electrical Murphy...

In step down discriminating protection the fault will always trip the largest breaker first.

A delicate transistor protected by a fast blowing fuse invariably becomes a fuse protected by a fast blowing transistor.

(A Transistor is the fastest fuse on three legs.)
 
I discovered a law some time ago which states that if you are walking to somewhere you haven't been before; if you are going downhill you are going the wrong way.

Roy
 
wheeltapper said:
I discovered a law some time ago which states that if you are walking to somewhere you haven't been before; if you are going downhill you are going the wrong way.

Roy

I like that one, and probably true!
 
Then there is the Law of Heredity which states:
Children are hereditary, if your parents didn't have any, chances are you won't...
 
I thought it was "Insanity is hereditary, you get it from your kids."

Ray
 
I thought it was “diarrhea is hereditary – it runs in your jeans”

Sorry – I think my “good taste” chip is fried.

Ken
 
2A. Law of Gravity - In an electrical device: Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will land in the power supply.
Only if the unit is energized. Also in old units where replacement boards are not available it is always the same board that fails.
Tin
 

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