Humour in model engineering

[Bogstandard]

I would like to open a post to give us a bit of a release from the frustrations of model engineering, if you've just mangled a part that has taken days to make, can't get the new engine running or just fancy a bit of a grin or want to share a favourite joke or picture then just come here and chill out.
A few rules must be put into place, these are, no smut, bad language or racism, (we see enough of this on the streets) and it must be engineering orientated, other than that anything goes.
Just to start things off and give the general idea here are a few items supplied to me by a tool supplier. You might find you can't understand some it because it is geared to the British sense of humour but there should be a lot that will get a smile on your face.


John

 

[Tin Falcon]

Bogs: Thanks for sharing on of the shops I worked in had a sample board of bolts similar to that. Yes someone actualy make bolts that look like that.
Tin

 

[Bogstandard]

Looks like there is a total lack of humour around here.
Maybe someone is scared of being laughed at, but isn't this post about that.
Even a little story of something that has happened to you or a mate.

If you don't cooperate I will have to introduce you to my dog Bandit who lives with me in my workshop (he's very popular on other sites he's been introduced to), he's the brains behind the engines I build, a very good mathematician. He's just doing a degree at the local university and for his specialist subject he is trying to find all the prime numbers that go into zero, but I keep telling him that it will all come to nothing.
If that doesn't do it I will then bring in Vinnie the mog, he does all my sketches for me, he's an artist really, but very bad tempered.
You've only got 24 hours, then Bandits in and you won't be able to get rid of him, tenacious little devils these Jack Russells.
Don't worry too much, all us Brits are a bit weird.

John

 

[Bogstandard]

Hey crank,
How are you going to mow the lawn now with no engine in your mower.

 

[rake60]

Personally I've made many of the "pre-stripped" bolts.
Brass bolts of the pre-stripped design are my specialty!

 

[gilessim]

somebody went to a lot of trouble to make this sign

 

[Bogstandard]

Nice one Giles.
It goes to show that there are still prats about, even in high places.

John

 

[Tin Falcon]

these are funny sort of:

from an MSDS sheet for welding rod " The word hazardous in the in the term hazardous material does not mean the material is Hazardous. " Hmm what did that just say!!


and from the instructions from my mini mill :
"This product is only to be used by a professionally trained machinist."
The whole thing weighs 80 pounds and is built for the home hobby market.

Do these ridiculous disclaimers count as humor??
Tin

 

[Bogstandard]

Tin,
If it makes you smile it is humorous.
The first one looks like they had just learned a new word and were trying it out for the first time.
The second must be a Chinese import with a bad marketing research team.

Now we are getting a bit of a reaction I will introduce you to Bandit the mathematician(dog) and Vinnie the mog(cat) (just in case you don't know the difference, also you say alley cat we say moggy, hence the name).


Just come up with a suitable caption, nothing is too stupid.
Here's mine.
Vinnie is saying " Cross this line if you dare, and I'll black your other eye."
Just a quickie one liner will do.
The winner gets a signed piccy from Bandit.

I know it all sounds stupid, but it is good therapy to smile once in a while.

John

 

[jagwinn]

"For crying out loud, cat! Either stand up or sit down! This walking around in between is starting to freak me out!"

 

[Bogstandard]

Very good, keep 'em coming

John

 

[gilessim]

"I told you that would happen if you stepped on the cracks!"

 

[rake60]

John that little fellow looks like he'll do what he wants to!
You can see it in his look.

My wife said a dog would never be allowed on the furniture in this house.
Now you have to have special permission from this princess to share her
house, let alone the furniture!

It took three days to recover from the burns of that glare for just taking
her picture! :lol:

We would miss her terribly if she weren't here.

 

[Tin Falcon]

Ok here is a good one . True story :

A weights and measures official is inspecting a big box home improvement store , one with blue and white signs. He finds a box of flexible conduit being sold by the foot. The box has inch markings printed on it. The W&M official advises the store manager that a printed cardboard box is not legal for trade as a length standard and he needs to place a metal yard stick near the product to measure it. The managers response ?? you are going to love this " Where do I get one of those?" I think the W & M official should have sent him across the street to home depot The manager deserved it!!

Tin Falcon

 

[Canyonman]

There is a sign just up the road on the way to work. It reads:

LEARN HOW TO READ FREE! CALL 555-5555

Now I ask you; WHO is that for? If you can't read the sign it is useless and if you can read, you don't need it!

I don't know if this one is still current, but when McD's had the large square sign at the drive thru window, Way down in the lower left it said. Braille menu available!

While we are on that subject, why does the ATM machine have Braille on the buttons? The little TV screen doesn't talk!

And, we should take a poll on this one, but to tell on myself, I have a VCR from the late 80's that is still flashing 12:00!

And I still can't figure out how to put a number into the phonebook of my cell phone.

And being slightly hearing impaired myself, I had a young man of about 5 or 6 walk up and tug on on my pant leg. Then he politely said "Hey Mister, your Butt is ringing!"

Disclaimer: These are just observations. NO Slander is intended or implied to anyone.

Ken

 

[Bogstandard]

This is getting better all the time, very good posts.
Rick, your little princess has the look of 'Just try and move me and your arm becomes lunch', I think animals sometimes show more expression than humans.
Tin, it just goes to show the higher up they are the less they know, so imagine what the world leaders are like.
Ken, these are a sure sign of able bodied people 'trying' to help the disabled without ever asking disabled people how they can be helped.
At least your VCR clock is right twice a day.
Here is one to think about, years ago if someone wanted you to put a logo or advert on your t-shirt you would have asked 'how much are you going to pay me', now we pay them to wear their logo all over our clothing, how and when did all this happen?

John

 

[lugnut]

I Moved the post I had here to the "Tools" section
Mel

 

[gilessim]

That's a brlliant little idea Lugnut!, I wish I'd thought of that!

 

[RollaJohn]

Lugnut it seems that your brain hasn't been covered with moss or rusted in that salt air so prevalent on the coast. Next we will be seeing ads in the Village Press publications for two-axis DROs for $50 complete with plans for the mounting attachments for almost any mill.

That is a nice, may I say even elegant, quick, solution to a needed device. Good show !

 

[Tin Falcon]

Lug nut nothin' funny about it. It saves you time and improves the quality of your work. Looks like a cost effective solution to a problem. That is what engineering is all about. I think you should move it to the tool section where it will get more well deserved attention.
Tin